Friday, January 11, 2013
Fridays Question: What makes us?
For me I tend to be Matter of Fact person and have been told can come across stern. This is not how I think. Grew up in a minister household and having a strong Mother has made me a strong will person. Have been looking at my family lately and have noticed that three forth of them are this way.
My older brother is the only Laid back one in the family. He tends to go with the flow. However he does have a side that is sensitive. I saw that side when me Mother passed away. He really does care about some things.
My younger brother is very stern and what some would classify as opinionated on many things. One who is set in his ways and will not let others persuade him in any way. However I did see a different side when my mother passed. He let the side a compassion out, for a while was willing to show he cared.
My youngest brother is a strong will and very sensitive guy. He seems to care how others view him and takes every action and reaction to heart. Not knowing him too well, I have seen some traits of fear of the unknown in him. Blaming himself for things that happen in life. As if he has control over everything around him. Still trying to remain Strong will.
Now for me, there is the I can do it all by myself syndrome in my mind. Which sometimes can cause conflicts in relationships. Allowing the perfectionist side to take over. Although it did do me good in the Military and in Life. Having this trait is not a bad thing, it makes one a stronger person. Able to stand strong and get to job done. Being Strong will gives a person a sense of strength that some folks would label as " They are a bitchy person" (that is their words not mine). that label was given to me in the Military. I do not think of me like that. However it did not hurt in the military, it made it easier to handle the missions.
My thought is that I am a caring person with a guard up to prevent being hurt. Have always had a compassionate heart and softness. However have not let it show out in the world often. There are a few folks that have experienced it. At time my words can be curt and taken the wrong way. I tend to be matter of fact like my family and sometimes can put my foot in my mouth.
Working on this has been a experience. Since my daughter has expressed her view of my words on folks. I have been trying to change the way I react to people. As well as the words I say, being slower to speak. Have found that one can control how they come across by choosing when to speak and when to remain silent. Something my mother tried to teach me. She was good at it, I hope to be as good in my lifetime.
In retrospect one can see that our upbringing has a great deal of influence on who we become. One can make some small changes in order to get along with folks. However one will have to decide that they are who they are because of their upbringing. We can decided to alter some things but just keep in mind you will have to work hard to change a view one has already accepted.
We change and mature as we age. Can one really start over? Or is it just making small changes that over time become a part of you? This is Friday and that means time for questions. What do you think? Are you viewing yourself as others do? Or do you see yourself differently? Is there something you wish to change? You can choose one to answer or more if you wish. Leave your link and I will visit you.