The Family Syndrome

Okay you are probably wondering what I mean by this title. Well it has to do with Family matters and how it is viewed by others.  On one hand a member might be the one who always contact the family members. I think this is a normal thing. However on the other hand that person can get tired of always being the one initiating the call.

I often wondered what would happen if one stops contacting the family. I learned that this year. They really have no idea. That made me realize that Family  does not really matter to some folks. They are but a fleeting thought. Now after stating that, I need to say that family does matter to some.

During the Holiday we had a outburst in the family. It was not pretty and has cause some rethinking in my family.  Thinking that some of the family is  a pleasure to be with and some not so.  It also made us think that saying you sorry is not in  their makup. Still waiting for the apology. When it comes to social media, maybe some folks just need to not  be informed. That should give the desire to call to catch up. This make more sense to me.

Social media can really cause more problems than one needs in their family. Perhaps the wrong message is received or  prejudgment on things posted. These things can cause ill feelings between family members. There use to be a privacy with in a couples or family home and life. Being able to only share the things that we want to. Now days we tend to share every thing on the social media form. Allowing all to view and judge and convict. Folks can not tell if they are joking around or serious.

When my Husband was in the hospital very sick. I posted it on the facebook and all the family could view it. I know they were active, however no one called or commented,  I felt so alone. when I call family they said they had no idea. What I told them in a message and on social media. Having to go through the whole thing by myself. Not a great feeling. At the point the feeling of Screw them was very high on our minds.

Hubby and I made the decision that when we died there will be no Funeral no Family burial. We are simply going to donate our bodies and that is all!! You see it is pointless to have folks come and say how much they will miss us or how close we were, when none of that is true. At least not while we were living. We are always the ones who would visit or call. Oh yes family have been in our area but no call or visit. Now that is just rude. We would hear they were hear visiting family....so there you go...we are not Family to them!

So the Family Syndrome to me is this. When  one leaves the family to get married, have children or just to work, The family gets fragmented. That fragment can not be repaired, cause there has to be a willingness on both side. When one side is not calling or doing something to renew their relationship,
Then there is no need to continue to try.

We have a wonderful relationship with some ex family members. These are people who have divorced family members.  They are closer than our Blood relations.  I call them family. Our adopted daughter is very close. Very accepted by our ex family members. She is treated just like family. Not so with some of our Blood.

Trying to balance a relationship with Blood relations is very hard. The time has come to see how much they are willing to work on the relationship. Are they willing to come see us,  willing to call and carry some communication with us. Willing to have a active relationship? All these things are part of this Family Syndrome.

Maybe I will be able to update this Family Syndrome  article. It would be nice to have folks would even show that they care.  This feeling of loneliness really sucks. I think hubby and I are at the point in life where we are going to do what make us feel good and is very enjoyable to us. It is time to have fun and not drama. Family is welcome to embrace the fun with us. Just want to join in , come to our neck of the woods. We have been to theirs several times.

Time to travel: Headed Northeast

For this trip we will be headed up North. Covering the northeastern states, along the coast line and inlet to the mountains.
First stop will be Andover Massachusetts. 30 miles west of Boston,this town is a small one with a population of about 9,000.
I like the smaller towns as well as the city. Each one has it charm. Traveling by car will give us a chance to cope out the area.
The next stop will be Prospect Harbor Maine. A quaint town in the Acadia Forest. We will be stay at a B&B that was built i the 1800,s and was a place for the elite to visit and watch the ocean front.
We will spend a day in Bar Harbour. Plan on Whale watching and enjoying the views and food. This will be our 36th Wedding Anniversary so,we are eating at a place with a water view and great local catches. Will be meeting up with family who are also traveling in the area.
The next day Onto New Hampshire and Vermont. Never been to those places. this will be a great place to see the covered bridges and great history of the area. After a week there, we will head to  Saracuse, New York. There is a great resturant we are eager to eat at.
All our adventures will be posted here on this blog. Maybe even a couple on the On the Go blog in real time. be sure to follow to see the shares and details of our trip.

.

Monday News:Technology and Family.

I have a Technology blog of sorts. Like to write all about the New technology items and well as Healthier lifestyles for us. Writing things from Solar option to Recycling options. Tend to throw in some Healthier choices for our bodies also. Notice that I have not been so active on the posting of things. Went to the Technology Conference with Hubby in New Orleans last month. Brought back some new knowledge of the newest tech toys. Will be sharing some of that on that blog site. Also brought back  a new view and rejuvenated my technology interest.  So stay tune and visit  Living Healthy with Auntie E blog,

We had Critter and his family over for a cookout and family and friends time. Now for those who do not know Critter. He is my Grand nephew, lives with is G-Mother. She is my Ex sister in Law, now remarried and has a daughter, who is 12 now. Critters is now 9, he has been with them for most of his life. We live close and go to the same church. However with the church being so large and their business  and kids activities, we seem to not be able to connect as we use to. So, this was great to see them at my home.

Now with my daughter off to college, we have been busy also. Traveling and working has multiplied it seems. Who says it get easier when the leave for college? It must be some one who isn't invested in their child much. We tend to see her at least once a month, sometimes more. Well Critter and the family hasn't seen her since last Christmas. So, we decided to have a Skype visit. The Kids and family enjoyed talking with her and seeing her. It was so funny because Critter had never skyped before and just couldn't figure out how to handle it. He always would run a hug her. He tried to do that by getting close to the camera. We had to tell him to back off so she could see him. I think that was the highlight of their visit. Maybe they will try to skype her more. Isn't technology Great!

We had a cookout and I made ice cream for Banana splits. Also made Mrs Peeples Baked beans. I will have to post that recipe on my Cookbook Blog. It really takes me back to Hubbies Family cook outs days.

Was able to catch up on all the going and comings of the families. We do talk on the phone, but talking in person is much better. The weather was much better, not as hot as it has been. That made it easier to sit outside and chat. Hubby bought me a Blue tooth speaker. That made it easier to listen to my Pandora music choice. Really love that steaming music choice. I listen to it all the time. Mostly from my Nook by Blue tooth now a days. Even though I do listen to it through the TV and Blue Ray player.  With my New Nook it is easier to move around and the house and yard. Back to our chatting, a lot of changes in the family seems to be taking place. With the kids involved to sports and her business she is staying busy. Stating she is now what they call a Soccer Mom. Being in the car picking up and dropping off. Seeing the other Moms on the go as she passes them, waving hi. With only one child I never experienced that. It seems to be very time consuming. She feels a need for a bigger house, however stated that she is not there that much to make a difference. Yeah I guess it works as a lay your head down place. Like a hotel, only sleep there. Sounds funny but, isn't that the way it goes when our lifes as so busy.

Winded up the night siting outside talking. The night air was nice. Had a fan moving the air. Overall it was enjoyable time. Need to do it more! How was your weekend?