Friday Fears: Hard Times

 So, one comes to a point in their life when a whisper in a ear can change everything!  My life has really been a whirlwind these pass  eight years. Loosing my Mother had been very hard. I still miss her so much. At times I hear her whispering in my ear. It has really affected my life.
A Few years ago we noticed that Dad had not been keep up with important things. That started to put in motion some changes in our lifestyle. Making trip to Dads and handling things for him. Then Two years ago thing started to get worst. He was having Mini Strokes, TIAs. It was causing more problems with his thought pattern. Last year he had a Major stroke. Now he can not live by himself. Not because he can not walk or dress himself or talk or doing normal everyday things. It was because he could not remember to take his insulin and daily meds. He could not remember things. He would watch a TV show over and over because he could not remember he saw it. Could not remember to get up, what time or day it is. So, now he lives with us. We are maintaining two houses and still traveling a lot.
Life has changed so much in the past 4 years. Daughter went off to college. We had a empty nest time. In that time we traveled and enjoyed the Great America! Daughter Graduated and we moved her back to our area. She started a New Job, and Is getting Married next May. So Now the Fun begins again. Planning the Wedding !
Next thing that happened is we found out a sibling has ALS. Now things get Hard again. The up and downs of the family members coping with this news. It has been hard on Everyone, and rightly so! However, it has really been hard on my baby brother. He has a soft heart and everything affect him deeply. I so feel for him. My Father doesn't remember most of the time that his son has this. When He does he doesn't comprehend it. So, we deal with that part of it. We remind he every time we visit. that is so Dad would want to visit him. Otherwise Dad would just love staying home all the time.
In the past eight years, we have had  seven  children born, three marriages, three deaths and four major Family events.  These have been Hard Times.

 This is my Birthday Month. Not only is it that time, I also come of age for making those important life changing decision! I really want to Drive Real,Real Slow...... Want to slow down here and turn back the hands of time. Not ready to make this step in life. So Why is it that we need to? Do not feel like I am there. Still feel like my 40's. I would Say 20's but I do not feel that good!
Recently our Daughter started selling LuLaRoe clothing. This make me smile cause, Don't tell them ( I am whispering in your ear here), these are the clothing I wore in my Teens and Twenties! Yes I have gotten back on the Bandwagon.  Wearing these again and feeling great! Loosing Weight and get more fit. Maybe it has to do this these remarkable clothes. Whatever the reason, it does change ones attitude on life. Let's get out and start doing things again! Yeah it's my Birthday month but I am getting younger by the minute!
The times are hard now because Love ones are gone and the ones remaining are in pain and dealing with life altering things. I am just trying to stay happy and enjoying life as it is now.  My emotions might get tough some times, but we need to enjoy our time here on earth. When folks are gone that dreaded phrase " I only wish......" need not come up. Only the wonderful memories we had. That is why I will stay happy and plan vacations and buy Clothes!!