Grinding with Auntie E: Left Out Syndrome

Ever have that feeling that you are missing something? You know that notion when something just doesn't seem right. Yeah it is a very strange feeling. Trying to just let it go is not easy.

I feel that way often. Not sure why but the awkwardness of it is uneasy. For years I have been okay with it. Now in my older years things are creeping up. Feeling I will be left out and end up all alone. Okay I know you are saying, Aye but life doesn't always turn out the way we think. That might be so.

Let's look at how things could be. Family members that do their own things. Live their own way. Yes I did that earlier. Only looking at the now. As we age our thoughts broaden making one aware of the changes in life. Changing the viewpoint on oneness. Creating a need to include others in the family. Even changing the way we think about where to live. Making us think about what really matters.

The Changes of growing old , Retirement Ideas and Love ones being far away. We are in a strange generation, one that has aging parents. The children in their 60's having to take care of their 80 plus parents. Some loving it and dutifully do it. Others that only want the "Lord to Come Now" cause they can not bare life anymore.

I love my Life! Love to go places see the world and spend time with Love ones. Yes even though I have those moments of that  Left Out Syndrome, That joy of a new life or a new discovery makes my day brighter. It brings me out of that Left out moment. All the changes of Children leaving home. Job changes and the aging process that bring retirement closer. Those things are big hurdles in life. Finding fillers and nor losing ourselves in the process is a challenge.

Traveling brightens up my spirit. There are so many things we haven't enjoyed. That Bucket list we all carry around in our heads. Someday I will....... those words spoken...... when I get older we will do this or that. Now is the time to be sure we do not miss out doing those things that we put off until later. Later has come!   We are getting ready to spend another vacation in Tennessee. Looking forward to new adventures and discoveries. I know we will so enjoy that time together.

England is on our list, maybe soon! Any friends out there? Let's go.

"Grinding with Auntie E" is a thoughtful post that takes a feeling and puts a spin on it. Hopefully making one think and changes a thought into a positive view.

Tell me More: When Family Matters

So, recently a family member made it very clear to me that he wishes to have nothing to do with me. Boy I just do not know what I did to deserve such a mean thing!? However, I will honor his wishes. For a "Family" man, this is not right.  He made it clear I was not in the circle of  his Family members. This really hurts, but I guess that is how some folks are. He has been making it clear for some time, since the Christmas Holidays,  I thought it was just a busy time for them. Now I know, that was not the case. It is Sad to have to be distant from a family member when I Love him so much. Well Such is life. I have my husband, my daughter and my Dad and hopefully my other brothers. That will have to do. I wish him happiness always.

I have to say he seems to  be nice when he wanted  something from me. After my Mom's Death he seemed better.  I am thinking now he wanted something. He has always stated he wants a family that stays together. That is why he home schooled  his kids as long as they let him. It is why he moved out to the hills. To keep them true to his ways. These kind of things can sometimes backfire.

I would say that his kids are like normal kids, into normal things of the world. They are all sweet and kind and seem to be great folks. Sometimes I wonder if trying to shelter them is for not. Kids seem to grow into their own identity. Becoming whom they dream of being. Nothing can stop that process, not even  Aunts, Uncles and Grandparents.

I have a close relationship with my Parents. When I was in my 20's I realized how smart they were and that I need some of their wisdom and guidance. We talk about everything, even the family members and issues. Wills and Estate Planning, politics and religion, we spoke of even though sometimes we did not agree, we still get along great.

We went on Vacations together  and even lived together during my husbands overseas duty. We celebrated our special occasions together. When Mom got Cancer  she called me right away and I was there for her til the end of her watch. I really miss her. Dad and I are still the same, love being together and spending as much time as we can.

Even though my brothers are all over the place, it has not hindered my relationship with them. I even thought my relationship with the former one was somewhat okay. Recently I visited my older brother and he is doing well. I plan to see more of him in the near future. My Younger brother I see when I visit Dad. He is struggling some but I love him and will be there for his needs. The Nieces, nephews Great nieces and Great nephews  want us to visit and be part of their family. That I am very grateful for. Love spending time with them.

Overall I feel that my Family Matters to me and I only wish that my one brother would come out of his box and join the fun times.  Holding on to decades of memories is not good. People grow up and change. I say that because one of my  brothers told me something  that was said to him years ago. That made me think that, just maybe my brother is harboring things of the past.  We all Grow up and the teens years are difficult years. A time when one is spreading their wings. Sometimes the other family members do not know the situation and draw the wrong conclusion. Which they hold onto for years, making it a fact in their mind. That leads to Harboring things that separate families.

Well I will still love the family members and have as much to do with them as they let me. Family Does Matter and we all should embrace each other for the time here on Earth.

Monday News: Family and Moving

We had a busy weekend. first of all we move my daughter into an apartment in her college town.
Had to buy furniture. It was an unfurnished place. We got a bed, two end tables, a love seat bed. a kitchen table, a dresser and a Media Cabinet. Of course it all had to be put together. I purchased her a new 32 inch TV as a gift. She had been using my small one in the dorm.  I took the small one back.

We had some help but it took a couple days to finish. of course with the apartment we had to get a rug and window rods. Even though we had some things it still needed some other items. when we were all done the bill was around 1000.00, an that was only the furnishings. it was the budget so we did manage to stay close to it.

Now that she is in the apartment, it will be better. No more having to move her out and store stuff in the garage. That part I am happy about.

Managed to see my older brother in Ohio. That was nice. He just retired from the IRS. Just seem to surreal to have a brother on retirement. He said he is enjoying it.  Will have to go up again sometime in October.  They have a nice home. We had so much to Remanence about. Grade school through High school, family houses and places we lived, events that marked times and just about all the photos we took and shared. I wish we would have had more time. However next time and soon we will be able to do more.



 It was a long  four days. Moving and visiting. The drive was long, we will have a couple of week to recoup before heading south to Tennessee, North Carolina and Virginia.