VEGAS BOUND 2023

 

We visited Las Vegas in 2019. My father, Hubby and I had planned to trip. Plane Tickets and lodging was all set for a 2019 Christmas Vacation. Then my father had a fatal stroke and passed away in September 2019. We decided to go anyway without Dad. It was very hard and I was so upset that the enjoyment was tainted. Walking around in a daze most of the time.  However we did have some enjoyment looking at a the decorations. As well as eating at some of the off the beat track places.

This year we are planning to rent a car and do some traveling to other sites and enjoy the holiday fare off the strip. Hubby is still having some difficult walking. Driving to places is a better choice. Will still visit some of the hotels for a look at their Holiday displays. 

I will post some activities we do on my Auntie E's on the Go Site. Hop over there to get notify when those post.

Here Again. New Beginnings

 New Beginnings  what can I say?  Yeah it has been a while since I posted here. Life has been rough and  sometimes challenging. To start off with, all the family issues. Then there was the House Woes. Covid on top of that. Just trying to stay on top of small business matters has been a struggle. I have lost many followers since 2020. So the need to post has been not a priority.

 First things Family issues.. Since death is a big thing now that we are in own golden years  we had had many.  Dealing with deaths can be stressful. Each person handle it differently. My Family tends to want someone to blame or can not handle seeing folks who reminds them of the lost one.   What ever their reasons are they remove themself from us. Which in turns changes the family bond. I thought is would get better as time goes by...... It did not.. Now it is only the two of us and an Ex Sister In Law family that we have become close to.  She has been there for me during my Husbands many surgeries and for holidays. I am very thankful for that friendship.

It seems like of friends after COVID isolation period, have become afraid to come back out. Fear is a  crippling  thing. We have been  going out ever since the COVID lift. Working at fairgrounds, vacationing and traveling when we can. 

 We have been updating are house. New Bathrooms, Floors and paints the outside. and doing some landscaping. We have had some damages de to some storms and mother natures events. Repair Roof and yards. Taking care of the might trees so that the will survive  Her Waft this winter.

 Hubby has had to have  a Total Hip replacement, Kidney function surgeries, test for other medical issues. Plus he is  going to have the other Hip replaced soon. Walking has been very hard on him. Of course that limits the traveling we can do. Even though he want to go badly. I had some eye issues. Doing better now.

 Many folks have now moved to TICKTOCK platform.. I am not there yet. Not sure I ever will be since there is some  issues with the info safety of it. So for now I will follow the progress with it. All this AI new issues is another platform I will be playing close attention to. I use AI a lot  and have for many years.

Well that s my update for now. Promise I will write more often and post.

Family Life after Death of Love Ones.

 

 

I have not posted in a long time. My life has been in turmoil. First off My Mother die some years ago, changing my life forever. Then my Brother died, which change the dynamics of the family.  My Father died in 2019. This was the most difficult time for me. After his death I lost another Brother not in death but as to his decision not to being there for me. Unfortunately he also convinced some family member not to have any more connect with me. Some awful and hurting words from them were said to me. So these last two years have been very hard on me.

First off  My Mothers wishes. Mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2006. Began Chemo treatment then. At her request she wanted me to come and help out. For her and my dad, they need help with household things,treatment transportation and financial help. I Spent a lot of time with her. Needless to say there was a child at my home, which my husband was attending. My Husband was great. loosing his parents in the 80's and 90's my parents became his. That is the way they wanted it. Later in 2007 my parents moved in with us as she had another bout of Chemo and radiation treatments in Philly. I took her there stayed with them there and supported them. Plus learned how to  administrate the new treatments they offered her. During this time Mom asked me to do several things upon her death. She had told me some things that she had in place for me to complete her wishes. How my Father and older brother would need my help. I learned things that I really didn't know and my eyes were opened to the family dynamics.  After her death Dad told me their plans they discussed. This included Dads needs for financial and household assistance. He knew he would not be able to stay by his self.

We went back and force to his house and ours for months. I cleaned, cooked him meals and froze them. Made doctor appointments and took him to them. Managed his medicine and later his diabetes needs. Managed his bills  and paid them for him. It come time for him to move in with us. He was getting sicker and wasn't able to manage his diabetes. During the time he was at his house my middle Brother would call me and tell me to go help dad. He had no clue I was doing that. Also during the time Mom was sick with cancer he would tell me to stop helping them that they did not  need me help. Claiming that I was gold digging. Which was the furthest from the truth. I loved my parents very much and everything I did was out of Love for them. Even when my Mom asked me to continue to do things for her I told her of course I would she didn't even have to ask. I talked to Dad about selling the house he said no. When we asked him why he told me what Mom wanted for the house. That she wanted me to have it. They had decided before her death that would be done. So Dad asked how to do it. He got a lawyer and they  discussed his options . He decided on one and set it up. I tell you this cause that is what started the family breakup. Dad had a massive stoke in 2019 and with in 3 months was gone.

In 2015 My Middle brother was diagnosed with ALS. They  gave him 2 years. During that time he became a different person. I believe his thinking was infected. He began doing things uncommon for him. My Father said my brother was jealous of me. I really didn't understand that.  However, during a time after mom death he became different. In the beginning he was his old self, as I remember in my youth and younger adulthood. Sometime in the  late nineties, after we adopted our daughter he changed. Not sure why, Dad thought it was the competition with the grand kids.  Thinking back I think he might have been right. We did spend a lot of time with Mom and Dad. going on vacations together and  spending a lot of time. One thing that he didn't understand was that I had lost 4 children  in miscarriages and one in the tube. Lost the ability to have any biological children. Then had 3 adoptions fall through. One of them my parents went through with us. Right up to the day of birth, we all were ready to go to the hospital! When they called to say the birth father did not want the adoption to go through. it was hard on all of. My Mom took it very hard. We having gone through this before were able to understand the birth parents decision. It is hard to give up something that you carry in you for 9 months. This brought us closer to together. So when we finally adopted my parents were so attached to our child in so many ways. My Dad thought that my brother was jealous of that bond. I believe he could not understand it since he had never gone through anything like that. Having  5 biological kids of his own. He really did not believe in adoption. That became clear to us when he watched my daughter, even in his comments about her to the family. I just let it go and didn't ask him to help out anymore. Later he would tell us we were not invited to his house and not to have anything to do with he family, no gifts, letter or cards. Even then I respected his decisions. We did talk after Moms death but it was short lived.

My Brothers influence on his family hit once he died. Someone asked me to speak at the Funeral . I was not sure I should, being the view of some of the family on us. However my other brothers and Dad told me I should. So i did. Later it stabbed me in the back.  Then after my Dads death most of the family decided as my brother did in his life they wanted nothing to do with me , words repeated from their Dad, You are not part of our family. 

Now to tell you what happened during the last year of my brothers life. He apologized  to me and ask us to help his wife out with all she will need to do after his death. Told us he was worried about her. Wanted her to move on with life. Didn't think she would get the help she needed from others. We agreed to help her. My husband worked in the government just as he did and knew how to guide her through the process. We helped as much as we could and as much as she wanted. I Loved my brother very much and I do miss him. Even though we had moments in life we still were family in my eyes.

After my Father death it was hard on the family, maybe dealing with should haves. Whatever the reasons there was a lot of pain and things were said by family members. Not understanding the wishes of my parents was a big deal. Feelings of lost and what did they leave me came to a head. My living brothers got money from an insurance policy as well as items from the house, furniture and items. Steve and I gave them some money from our accounts and we paid for Dads funeral. Even with us doing that there was still problems. My baby brother disowned me a family. My Brothers wife and most of the family disowned us and told us not to come to their family gathering. We lost a lot.

My oldest Brother and I are great. We are talking a lot and seeing each other when we can.  I am living in the family home and feeling the presence of my parents all the time. I love that feeling. Hoping to be able to see the Folks on my Moms side more. Everyone on my Dads side are gone. My Mother has a brother.

Thinking back to my childhood, we had some hard times. No matter how you look at things our lives were good. We had great Parents who were young but saw that we had all we needed. Learned a lot in my life. How to manage disappointments and changes as we grew up. Finding our own way to live. In my thirties and fourtes  I learn to respect and love my parents. Learned that they went through a lot in their life. Even through it all they were givers and helpers. I choose to be that in life. As teenagers we tend to not understand things and feel everything is about us. When we age we start to see things differently. Maybe even understanding some things we didn't earlier. Wisdom is produced and becomes clearer in the mind. Understanding about decisions made in the past.

I Love my family, all of my family!! it makes no difference how they are feeling towards me. I am always their family and would be glad to return to be back in their lives. With all Forgiven. Death and lost of love ones gives way to all kinds of feelings. One day those feelings will correct themselves and all will be restored in the world or the next, if there is an after life.