Okay you are probably wondering what I mean by this title. Well it has to do with Family matters and how it is viewed by others. On one hand a member might be the one who always contact the family members. I think this is a normal thing. However on the other hand that person can get tired of always being the one initiating the call.
I often wondered what would happen if one stops contacting the family. I learned that this year. They really have no idea. That made me realize that Family does not really matter to some folks. They are but a fleeting thought. Now after stating that, I need to say that family does matter to some.
During the Holiday we had a outburst in the family. It was not pretty and has cause some rethinking in my family. Thinking that some of the family is a pleasure to be with and some not so. It also made us think that saying you sorry is not in their makup. Still waiting for the apology. When it comes to social media, maybe some folks just need to not be informed. That should give the desire to call to catch up. This make more sense to me.
Social media can really cause more problems than one needs in their family. Perhaps the wrong message is received or prejudgment on things posted. These things can cause ill feelings between family members. There use to be a privacy with in a couples or family home and life. Being able to only share the things that we want to. Now days we tend to share every thing on the social media form. Allowing all to view and judge and convict. Folks can not tell if they are joking around or serious.
When my Husband was in the hospital very sick. I posted it on the facebook and all the family could view it. I know they were active, however no one called or commented, I felt so alone. when I call family they said they had no idea. What I told them in a message and on social media. Having to go through the whole thing by myself. Not a great feeling. At the point the feeling of Screw them was very high on our minds.
Hubby and I made the decision that when we died there will be no Funeral no Family burial. We are simply going to donate our bodies and that is all!! You see it is pointless to have folks come and say how much they will miss us or how close we were, when none of that is true. At least not while we were living. We are always the ones who would visit or call. Oh yes family have been in our area but no call or visit. Now that is just rude. We would hear they were hear visiting family....so there you go...we are not Family to them!
So the Family Syndrome to me is this. When one leaves the family to get married, have children or just to work, The family gets fragmented. That fragment can not be repaired, cause there has to be a willingness on both side. When one side is not calling or doing something to renew their relationship,
Then there is no need to continue to try.
We have a wonderful relationship with some ex family members. These are people who have divorced family members. They are closer than our Blood relations. I call them family. Our adopted daughter is very close. Very accepted by our ex family members. She is treated just like family. Not so with some of our Blood.
Trying to balance a relationship with Blood relations is very hard. The time has come to see how much they are willing to work on the relationship. Are they willing to come see us, willing to call and carry some communication with us. Willing to have a active relationship? All these things are part of this Family Syndrome.
Maybe I will be able to update this Family Syndrome article. It would be nice to have folks would even show that they care. This feeling of loneliness really sucks. I think hubby and I are at the point in life where we are going to do what make us feel good and is very enjoyable to us. It is time to have fun and not drama. Family is welcome to embrace the fun with us. Just want to join in , come to our neck of the woods. We have been to theirs several times.